The pain

Now I can finally say it, I feel left out.

Looking at how those who i spent most of my times with

Seems like they dont need me anymore in their life

It seems like its better to not be bothered by me

It seems that they feel relieved that they can finally escape from my grip

Then what are the values of those in the past?

I now feel paranoid, trauma.

I now believe that

No one around me will ever last

They leave when its all done

When they get tired, the sparks die

And all the oath and promises are all lies

because neither any shows any effort.

So tell me what is friendship?

Is it just some kind of experiment

To see which level of human-being you belong to?

If so, proceed with your life

Be my guest,

Leave me alone

And dont return to me

Only to fix your scars

Because i dont think it could be fix anymore

*gambar takde kaitan*

Maybe after all, all this while I'm just some side actor in your drama

Smile, wont you?

Life was not meant to be perfect, it is covered with flaws. And without the flaws it would just be empty. Somehow, i tried to understand myself. Looking for something worth about me because i do think i dont matter to some (even after the lecturer lectures about this haha).

A very good friend of mine send me the answers,

she said it is a beautiful sayings from yasmin,

"There's something amazing about this life. The very same wordly attribute that causes us pain is also what gives us relief. Nothing here lasts. What does that mean? It means that the breathtakingly beautiful rose in my vase will wither tomorrow. It means that my youth will neglect me. But it also means that the sadness I feel today will change tomorrow. My pain will die. My laughter wont last forever --- but neither will my tears. We say this life isn't perfect, and it isn't. It isn't perfectly good. But, it also isn't perfectly bad, either."

And that is wowww kebabooommm

See, as we grow up, the laughters stay as laughters and just literally dies

there shall be something more meaningful in life that will stay forever.

and lets see how much i matters :) 

Cherish our purposes in life anyway, which will benefits us also in the hereafter 

Late night

Have you ever found yourself so messed up? Things went great in the morning, end up feeling all upset in the night. When I tried to look for what I've left behind, stuff that I forgot to do, I cant seem to find anything that went wrong. When the frustration strikes or even before it happened I gave my best to complete my obligations perfectly, but in the end it does not seem to work on me. Is it because I've been looking after the rewards? For any return? All I asked for was only for the solace of mind, heart and action.

Did you tell Him? Have you give enough? Even so, why is it there are still 

empty spaces in your soul? 

I cant deny, this new chapter of life do give impacts to my life. It does makes my emotions to ride on roller coaster, arguing on how should I control myself from doing things that might effect someone else in a bad away. On what words should come out of my mouth. Is it okay to say this and that. I'm not trying to be someone else(or lets say, hypocrite). Its just, I'll hate myself for doing that. Even now. All the regrets, Theres nothing good to swallow the regrets and theres nothing great about telling it to others too. 

You see, I was comfortable(really, much) to be having a company who would always bear and understand the things that is happening in my mind. I'm missing those who I can talk to even when the light is off and the only thing that kept me talking was the reflection in their eyes. Whenever I think that I dont feel belonged to anyone, they accept me anyway. Me, lame, bajet bagus, so lame and lame, like you need to be with me for a looooooooonnnnggggg time to finally undertand how things going to work between us. Things are not really working out for me. I'll just hold on to it, right?

YABEDABEDOOOO

I feel like sharing pictures of what i was doing all this while

For myself of course.

Just a team driving lamborghini thats all hahaha

A little bit of reunion with these fam bams a.k.a assobiyah-ing.

For your concern that was not the part of our plan

We dont really wanted to be just with us 'bangi-ians'

But some assumed that so......

(Where am i?)

 (Where am i part 2)

This is what i called as

THE BEST GIVE EVA

Can you imagine spending some really quality times with all your

really loved ones at the beach?

You can feel the breeze touching your face and body while

feel the love in your surroundings?

It feels just right.

Really.

Well that mokcik over there is nadhus 

Thats probably her cutest face :')

hahahahahah 

thank you Allah for this creature 

So many people that I strongly love in our picture urgh

and it hurts right now the fact that i cant see your faces 

virtually that i can directly communicate with

This people are actually,

the strong reason whyyy i was able to

understand myself and to stay in this way

and probably better.

Currently i'm at uitm shah alam

doing foundation for law

i have all the reasons why did i choose law

so dont worry alright

i will survive this alive, insyaAllah.

Here, i also have wonderful people thats 

so close to my heart 

The most important thing is that i have Allah

in everything that i do and everywhere i go

and thats enough for me.

Bae

"I might be crazy because I love my bestfriend more than a guy."

To the girl that I

share my ice with

share my foods with

share my earphones with

share my favourite songs

share my favourite people haha

share my problems

share my imaginations

share my clothes

share my crazy thoughts

share my drawing books with

share my passion

sharing your home

sharing your room

sharing late night conversations

share my life with

I only knew you about 4 years I guess

 But I know you will do anything

Like iftar last year

Honestly I cant believe you actually did that

That is the most beautiful moment babe

I  remember you brought ice on pmr

I  remember your kek batik

I remember your ipod yang ana selalu lupa nak tutup

I remember the first time you own your camera

The day we fought

I remember redbull

Sorry for my wrongdoings beb

Believe me

You're perfect to me

( Little things playing* )

xoxo

 I'm not good with words.

Still alive

Halu

I couldnt believe how time flies so fast

In a blink of an eye

5 more months till the end of my highschool life

Yet I'm still here updating my life to myself

Cause I'm the only one who going to read this after all muahehe

I went to mgbsim last month

and its....its...its...

well I dont want to talk about it la

leave it all behind -..-

After a month of training, my team got second place for nasyid

As you can see above picture

Thats our costume for the performance

Its hot pink and I'm dark yeah imagine
We just cant get over all the sweet memories
Keep on remember all the memories
Keep on telling stories
Kak syaimaa, Timah, Lillah, Aufa, Nurin, Alya, Anis
Gracias for giving me the chance
I do really appreciate it :')
 As usual i dont really have much time for myself
Barely can treat myself well
Gladly I have shoulders and arms around me
So that when I fall, they will catch me
and wont let me fall for so long
Lets  be serious for the future
Bye.

Make a wish ufairah

Well well look whos in mood

Me me me!

Assalamualaikum ladies

Happy rejab

May He showers us with His blessings amin

Like most of you dont know that

26th April 2014

Is actually my birthday yey

Eventhough its my 17th birthday

But who cares 

I am still full of ecstasies 😘

As the number increases each year

From 0 to 17 this year

Ive been living the life

I'm having now

With the love of my parents

Siblings and friends.

And its actually the whys I enjoy every seconds of my life

I know the older I get

The more barricades I have to pass through

More ujian

And stuff like that to teach me the true meaning of life

In life we should not only longing for humans love

Because true love is actually 

Rabb's love

Not any of those monkeys love and love to a man

Its more than that

Its pure

I hope and wish that through my 17 years living

I've shown my efforts in catching Mardhatillah

So that one day I can tell others too and keep it spreading

I'm officially 17

Thank you for all the wishes

Magnum

Pudding

Baju tido

Cards

Foods

What I really want is actually 

duas from my beloved

 ones

I'm a big girl now

Dont ever think to shoot me down

Cause I wont fall

Especially in this right path

Wassalam 😌😌