Saturday, January 23, 2016


Around this particular period last year, in 2015 was my life-changer. Yes, with Allah's will and His guidance. For someone like me, i don't think i deserved such opportunity. It's nothing about pride, i was at that moment terrified. Terrified, in which i myself believe that they(the authority) made a huge mistake and that they should've appointed someone else, someone who worth all the chances.

I should've rejected and stay away but i didn't. It was my heart and my soul, longing for the fitrah needs. I could've took the other way, no one was stopping me but then I chose what my heart wanted at that time. You see, what meant for you will happen to you and for everything that happened there will always be hikmah. How you get through it might be the worst, but then hikmah will always beautifies everything in the end.

The what happened through out my 3 weeks stay were not all about how to stay awake during pengisian or how many frogs in the toilet. Instead, it wow-ed me to the max in a way that it left huge impact to my life. I see things differently now, wider. There was a sister who I knew way before the event. Frankly, all the process and all the path I took, she probably knew all about it so she wrote me a letter telling me that I should look for my values(logam). That I should not be afraid to know about myself. To understand me. That was exactly what i did through out the weeks. I found myself in akhawats, I found love(fikrah) that bonds us. I'm not saying that other people means nothing for me, no. I just found myself in them. Among them angels I was actually a rookie, someone who started with zero, probably minus.

It was in Medan where I tasted the sweetness of everything. Although everything was unexpected and I was near to my limits, I would love to go back. The ukhties, Sibolangit, feast and muds were the cherries on top my dessert(hyperbola gais) :)) Even the orphanage house was delightful, and the school which I could not recall what is the name of the school. I missed out stuff because I was distracted but now auch it hurts to miss all the memories this much. Not to forget our morning stroll with hanan and atun :)) awww gold times.

Sorry for not sacrificing enough, sorry for being the paling asing among you angels, I might not be good enough, but i'll keep trying so that I can follow you guys up to Jannah **