Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Late night

Have you ever found yourself so messed up? Things went great in the morning, end up feeling all upset in the night. When I tried to look for what I've left behind, stuff that I forgot to do, I cant seem to find anything that went wrong. When the frustration strikes or even before it happened I gave my best to complete my obligations perfectly, but in the end it does not seem to work on me. Is it because I've been looking after the rewards? For any return? All I asked for was only for the solace of mind, heart and action.

Did you tell Him? Have you give enough? Even so, why is it there are still 
empty spaces in your soul? 

I cant deny, this new chapter of life do give impacts to my life. It does makes my emotions to ride on roller coaster, arguing on how should I control myself from doing things that might effect someone else in a bad away. On what words should come out of my mouth. Is it okay to say this and that. I'm not trying to be someone else(or lets say, hypocrite). Its just, I'll hate myself for doing that. Even now. All the regrets, Theres nothing good to swallow the regrets and theres nothing great about telling it to others too. 

You see, I was comfortable(really, much) to be having a company who would always bear and understand the things that is happening in my mind. I'm missing those who I can talk to even when the light is off and the only thing that kept me talking was the reflection in their eyes. Whenever I think that I dont feel belonged to anyone, they accept me anyway. Me, lame, bajet bagus, so lame and lame, like you need to be with me for a looooooooonnnnggggg time to finally undertand how things going to work between us. Things are not really working out for me. I'll just hold on to it, right?

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